Monthly Archives: April 2013

Holy crap, Guam is real?!

I discovered something remarkable today. More than remarkable really. I mean, I literally fell out of my chair (granted I was sitting on the edge of it already, but still).

Guam is an actual place:

All these years I’ve been tossing around this Guam shtick. Make jokes about it, talking about my secret volcano headquarters there, how we’ve recruited the “Easter Island guys” to defend it (alien weaponry in their hats, though weakened since all the brims fell off, but still bad ass), using it as an interjection and/or greeting, and so on.

But, lo and behold, there, in the South Pacific (nearish Easter Island – quite a coincidence!), is an island named Guam. To add insult to injury, it’s part of the United States, a country in which I was born and lived for 4 decades.

I’m wondering now what the Guamites (Guamese? Guamians?) think – or would think, if they aren’t already aware of it – of my fixation and how I’ve expressed it. Offended? Appreciative? Bored? Will they hunt me down and rough me up, demand an apology and get me to stop? Send an Easter Island Guy to take me out?

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